Friday, May 31, 2013

Off to The Stanley!

.

Tomorrow I'm off to Estes Park with my three girlfriends to fufill my dream of staying at the famous Stanley hotel (The Shining and dumb and dumber were filmed there, need I say more?). I have been waiting for this weekend for months and I'm practically jumping out of my skin with excitement! On the agenda: Horseback riding, lake strolling, bison eating, and ouiji boarding. I'll be back Monday with lots of pictures and a recap of my adventures. I hope you all have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

My Life in Gifs that aren't from "The Shining".



When my boss tells me I need to do things per "HR regulations"




How I feel when I have a beer after I havent drank all week.






When my Dad asks me how my dad is going.





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When my boss asks me what my "duties" are.






When my boss calls me.


Talking to anyone in my office at any given time.







When I hear that someone right out of college makes twice as much as I do.

When I see someone wearing a crop top.

Talking to someone who doesnt know the difference between "your" and "you're"

When my friends ask my for relationship advice.

When I found out that devil dogs would no longer be available for purchase.




When I see a girl  wearing tennis shoes at the bar.

When someone asks me how they should make themselves feel better.



When I hear people bitching about being fat.



How I feel when I go to any party at Metro.



When I see that there is a taco with mac and cheese, avocado, and sausage on the menu. 

When someone tries to talk to me about their diet.

Me at my desk every morning..

Reading anything about politics.

When I accidentally "like" a photo of someone I've been stalking.




My closing statement in job interviews.

What my friends say to me.

When I see someone with an emo facebook status.

Walking into a pre game and seeing that several guys I've made out  with are there.

When my parents friends ask why I'm still single.




When my friends ask what I did last night....

....and when they ask what I did this morning.

When my friends ask for advice what I offer them instead.




Trying to find my friends at coachella.

When people ask where my girlfriends are.

When my mom asks how my company party went.

When I have to go back to my old jean size.





When people ask what my salary is.





When my friends ask what I want for my birthday.







When perspective jobs ask me why I want to leave my current one.




When an interview asks where I see myself in five years.

Whenever I see a post from an adult on facebook.


How I feel when I'm at a table with all couples.


When I want dessert but my friend wont split anything with me.



When my friends cry to me about how shitty their lives are while meanwhile im dying over here.







When I post something on facebook that gets no "likes".


When i see my friends making kissy faces on facebook




When someone asks me if I'd like to go day drinking.



When I see that someone  got bangs.





When I play wingwoman to Ross and Jamie.




The first thing I ask on a date.







Wednesday, May 29, 2013

YAY

yay www.facebook.com/juNxtaposition

Random things that make me scream "YAY!!!"


  • Waking up and realizing that you still have another hour to sleep
  • Getting a facebook wall post from someone you generally like/miss
  • Getting a facebook "poke" from someone you genuinally want to "poke"
  • Finding out that the waitress forgot to charge you for your last drink. Oops.
  • Having one of your guy friends tell you you look hot in a tottally non sexual way.
  • Having your friends from high school comment on how good looking all of your guy friends are and how shes going to come visit because of it.
  • Waking up from an insane night of drinking with zero hangover
  • Finding out that the 3 lbs you gained went right to your boobs
  • Your boss telling you that you can come in late/go home early without there being a catch.
  • Four words: Company Sponsered Happy Hour.
  • Turning on the TV to find that your favorite movie has just started
  • Seeing that the thing you have been dying to buy is on super sale
  • Anytime your parents offer to pay for anything
  • Finding a cold spot in the sheets when its summer time
  • Two for one drinks
  • Good hair days
  • Getting a package in the mail
  • Getting more than 20 likes on a facebook or instagram post
  • Getting a friend request from a guy you think is hot
  • Having a good natural tan
  • 24 hour a day drive thrus
  • Living Socials and groupons
  • When people ask me to edit their cover letters or resumes
  • Getting a text from an ex hook up who was a douche to you at 2:00am (see here)
  • Childrens cereal
  • Pedicures
  • When it rains when i'm hungover
  • Maid Service
  • Getting Flowers
  • When people fall down (evil, I know)
  • When your boss asks you to do something that you've already done (this hasnt happened in awhile)
  • Being right. 
  • No wait at brunch 
  • My SAT verbal score
  • Automatic wine openers
  • Fleece lined slippers
  • my heated snuggie
  • When my friends who are cuter than me wear a stupid outfit
  • Seeing that a movie that I wanted to rent is now free to stream on netflicks

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Shiny Objects


The coolest bike of all time parked outside The Tavern in Capitol Hill

Friday, May 24, 2013

You Fancy, Huh?


Today is a day that will go down in history. Whataburger Fancy and Spicy Ketchup are now available for purchase in Texas HEB stores. My brothers girlfriend texted me today at 8:00am to let me know that she was already at the store securing a few bottles. How many bottles do you think is reasonable for me to put in my suitcase after this weekend? 8? 10?