Sketchers Summer 2013

Sketchers really busted out the stops on this seasons line of fine footwear. Here are some highlights presented to you via Zappos. Disclaimer: these are the real names of the shoes. I could not make this shit up.

These babies are called the "outshine". I mean I suppose that name is fairly appropriate. These colorful jailhouse slippers will surely set you apart from the fellow patients at the state asylum

 

Now these ones are called "Inspire Luster". I'd more say they more inspire a "Gone with the Wind" style amputation operation. But hey, to each his own.

These next gems are called "Hot ticket".

 Here is the review given by one such "hot ticket" who bought these mules in Rockys colors. 

"I love these shoes! It is extremely comfortable, does not cut my ankles (a problem I have in most sneakers), and did not require any breaking in. I am looking forward to wearing these shoes on vacation. They look great with jeans. I got them in purple and gray and they are super cute. They make my feet look small (and they are size 9). Usually sneakers make my feet look huge but these are awesome. Best of all there are no laces! I can slip them on and off in airport security and I do not have to worry about tripping on my laces."

I'm not sure what this "Hot ticket" looks like but I'm going to say It's something like this: 

Next up we have the "Bright Side". I'm assuming this means "hey, on the bright side you will now never have to worry about unwanted pregnancy or STDS again!"

These gems are called "Barbed Wire". I'm assuming that this was a marketing ploy to promote them to jailhouse inmates, as that is clearly who they were designed for.

I think It is important to note that Sketches did not forget about it's more androgynous fan base when creating this new collection. Behold the "Sparkle". You know, cause when I think wanting to "sparkle" I instantly envision knock off vans in a handsome flannel pattern.

In what might be the most controversial shoe of all time....may I present you with the "Daddys money: Give me kisses". A product of the Joe Simpson Collection.

Which pair are you going to chose to sport this season????